Fat People Can't Die

A 31 stone (440 pound) German took on a car and survived. The 30 year old man was cycling through a crossroads when he braked too suddenly and fell off. He rolled onto the road and was immediately run over by a Volkswagen Polo. Incredibly he emerged from the under the bonnet with only a dislocated hip and 'minor scratches'. The car is said to be 'disgusted'.

German police spokesman Sven-Marco Claus told reporters: "Someone smaller would probably not have been so lucky." Lucky? To have a stone for every year of his life or to roll into oncoming traffic?

I'm not sure how I feel about 31 stone men riding bicycles, I just imagine the overhang causing friction on the road and slowing them down. They should bring back Penny Farthings, that way drivers who can't normally see 31 stone men will be alerted by their abnormally large bicycle. That and the screams as bits of loose stomach get caught in the spokes.