Buy Your Own Fort On eBay

There’s only three days to go before the eBay auction on Fort Montgomery draws to a close! Fort Montgomery you say? What? Fort Montgomery is a limestone fort situated on Lake Champlain Island, Northern New York. It’s connected to the mainland by a 700 foot causeway and comes complete with ‘6,900 feet of lake frontage and 279 acres on the adjacent mainland.’ Victor Podd, whose family has owned the fort for 23 years, has decided to put it up for auction using the safest most reliable means possible: ebay. The current bid stands at $5,000,310 which is probably not enough, as according to Victor the reserve is set at just under ‘$9.9 million’.

If I had a big fort I’d declare an independent state and fill it with attractive but deeply inept citizens. There’d be cannons operated by servile dwarves and an enormous pub right in front of the waterfront - to obscure any view of the mainland. Pete Doherty would be barman and Pete from Big Brother would act as the court jester and foreign secretary. Any excess rooms in the fort would be filled with bar nuts.