Backgarden Bitches

There's nothing like being really nice to someone to totally wind them up, as Lisa and Imogen proved this morning. The hatchet faced manc ho and the former professional model, full-time bore sat out in the sun bitching about new MAN/BLOKE/MALE Sam, who is consistently referred to in the feminine gender in spite of having a PENIS.

"I hope she isn't going to be nice as pie, I'll fucking walk all over her," Imogen said as she attempted to be hard. "She needs to toughen up." "Yeah, I hope she's learned," Lisa mumbled through the puss ridden sores that have developed around her hideous fish like lips. The pair then slagged Big Gay Dick off saying "he's trying to get everyone on his side," while that cow Lea "mothers Pete all the time." At this point Sam flounced over offering the miserable witches morning cups of tea. "No thanks babe," Imogen smiled in a way that didn't touch her eyes. "Hiya babe," Lisa faked.

Sam went back into the kitchen, by then the damage had been done. "Fucking knob," Lisa grumbled. "Making everyone tea in the morning. She's gonna fuck me off today." Personally we're behind the two garden bitches on this. I mean the audacity of that new guy offering people tea in the morning... What a complete cunt! Lisa should've scratched her... sorry his... eyes out.