Aisleyne Moves Onto Nikki

Picking on Nikki seems unfair for some reason... like an adult beating up a toddler... or a body-builder jumping up and down on a quadroplegic... but nevertheless that's exactly what Aisleyne did earlier.

She'd been building up to it in the kitchen. She told Glyn that she couldn't enjoy sunbathing outside because Nikki was droning on talking about herself, sex and past relationships. (I can't imagine having sex with Nikki. It would be like putting my cock in one of the muppets. I don't imagine there'd be much sensation and I'd have to watch as Nikki's rubber face continued to writhe and stretch throughout the whole unsavoury affair.)

So continuing on her path of self-destruction Aisleyne decided she would tell Nikki she was boring straight to her face. Which she did. Nikki's response? She called Aisleyne a bitch and then went into the diary room to continue her aggrieved rant. "I can't take that rude girl any longer," Nikki screamed. "She's a nasty bully. I wasn't boring anybody else. I was talking to Imogen and Richard and Lea, not her." Nikki went on to call Aisleyne "a horrid nasty bitch" and "a fucking nasty fucking evil piece of work".

"Who does she think she is?" Nikki continued. "She's the ghetto queen - she thinks she's so superior. She's a rude dude with attitude. No one likes her here, people are scared of her. That's why they're nice to her. I'm scared to breathe in front of her. She can be quite pleasant but now we're seeing the real her. She's trying to get on people's good side so she doesn't get nominated. She's got Imogen and Mikey on side now. She's manipulating people in this House and I've only just realised it."

Although to be honest watching Nikki for more than a second is enough to make me want to smash her stupid scrunched up face in with a shovel. Then I'd shut that whiny voice up for good by strangling her as she lay twitching on the carpet. No wonder security's so tight around the Big Chudder house. Here's hoping Aisleyne will do the job for me.