Viking On Death Row

Penguins everywhere put on their best suits to pay their respects to Nordic adventurer, Richard Horntvedt, who died earlier today. The 67 year old’s body was found ‘tied to the keel’ of his boat by Norwegian coastguard Erlang Herstad.

The bored Nord had planned to row the entire length of Norway’s coastline, from the North Cape (deep inside the Artic Circle) to Lindesnes (somewhere Souther than that) - a journey that he proposed would take up to 90 days. Scientists insist that without specialist clothing and protection, a human can survive for ‘a matter of hours’ in cold Artic waters. Horntvedt was sadly found dead, ‘a matter of hours’ after his departure from the North Cape.

According to the local newspaper, Horntvedt revealed that he had decided not to take a life raft or survival suit with him, because of ‘space’ issues. You tell ‘em Richard. It’s no use ‘surviving’ if you got no room to swing your cock around.