Two More Chuds Arrive In The House

Two more cunts, Sam and Aisleyne, bowled into the Big Chudder house today. They were greeted with coldness, scorn and general hatred by the majority of the established housemates who are already exhibiting the traits of territorial animals. Imogen, Sezer and Grace barely managed to conceal their general disdain as they said hello to the new inmates before running off to slag the new two off. "I'm gonna give her a hard time, the promotions girl," Sezer said rubbing the pair of socks shoved down his crotch, which he uses to pretend he has a bigger than small cock. "It's another Nikki," Grace moaned. "The reason they brought them in is to even up the groups, because Richard's group is crumbling," Sezer reckoned. "Lea and Richard are already latching on to them." In the surreal environment of the house Sezer has started to think that the gameshow is in fact a deadly serious political platform for world domination. "Richard is licking a***, he can f*** off," ranted angry welsh bore Imogen. As it turned out it wasn't just an insult, but a factual statement as right at that moment Richard was indeed rimming Sam.

Hideous Manc Ho Lisa then turned up and screeched "Richard and Lea have been false with me for days anyway." She then stumbled off into a wall. Luckily it was her face that connected with the wall, which luckily couldn't get worse if someone hit it repeatedly with a spade. "That blonde one, you can imagine what she'll look like without make-up," added Grace whose face looks like it is made from perpetually running greasy wax. "We got rid of one mongrel and now we've got another one, s*** for s***!" said Sezer, much to his nasty little band's amusement. "They'll slip up," he said. "When they do, I'll be there waiting for them."

Who knows what the asterix mean? We don't because we nicked this quote, and didn't bother to watch the programme. But presumably it means something like slag or slut and is a reference to Bonner. To be fair she was a mongrel. Although it could also be about Shahbaz who is a shit.