Man With No Legs Scampers Up Everest

47 year-old Mark Inglis made it to the top of Mount Everest yesterday, an incredible feat for a man with two prosthetic legs. Mark lost his real legs to frost bite on a previous, much less exciting mission. The adventurous New Zealander called his boring wife, Anne, on a mobile phone when he reached the summit. “He’s dreamed of this all his life, probably. He’s over the moon” she told a local newspaper. Mark couldn’t explain his wife’s peculiar use of the word ‘probably’ but a guide reported that he has been keenly ‘plotting her death’ since the start of the descent.

The journey nearly met with disaster when one of Mark’s carbon-fibre legs snapped at 6,400 metres. Using bubblegum, shoelace and ‘spare parts’ he managed to repair the leg. Somewhat inappropriately, imperial measurements reveal that Mark had to climb over 29,035 ‘feet’ to get to the top.