Lea - Tits

The bionic blonde from Nottingham claims to have spent over £30k on plastic surgery. Funny, I can’t see it myself… strange eyebrows maybe? At 35 years old, Lea feels like she’s at a crossroads. She can either continue to biodegrade faster than her plastic cheek implants - a bit like Skeletor - or she can win Big Brother and pay for new ankles or something.

At 22 stone, Lea used to be a ‘fat bastard’. But in a feat of medical engineering, doctors successfully transplanted her entire body into her breasts, which are an impressive 92 QQ. We’re expecting good things from Lea, who despite being ridiculous appears to be able to string two sentences together without reeling off her cv. Gawk lasciviously at her after the pub, as you desperately try and climax over her overstretched, thread vein mammaries.