Irish Minister Denies Warbling Orcs

Ah the Eurovision… It comes at us every year like a rush of warm shit. Everyone secretly loves it… the slaggy dresses, the pyrotechnics, Terry Wogan’s drole alcoholism… but no one more so than the Irish. In fact this year they loved it so much that they decided to win, even though technically they didn’t. John O’Donoghue, Minister for Art in Ireland congratulated Irish entry Brian Kennedy for a ‘Marvellous Win’ on the department website.

The news must have come as a shock for Finnish victors ‘Lordi’, who’s dramatic display of platform shoes, Orc-wear and shouting, wowed voters throughout Europe and er… Israel. Thankfully the mistake has been explained away as a “human error” and the shameful deceit has since been removed from the website. If you get really drunk and then say… puke in a cab, does that count as ‘human error’? “Oh dear driver, I’ve made a terrible ‘human error’ all over my pants.”