Goody Admits High Jelly Content

Jade Goody, the failed athlete, today admitted the true reason behind her reasons for not completing the London Marathon last weekend or whenever it was. Goody, whose pure pleb lifestyle has given new meaning to casting pearls before swine, first came to fame through being ugly and fat.

Although she told craggy face cook Ramsay it was lack of training, boozing and living on a diet of take-outs her announcement today is bound to shock a handful of people. According to the repulsive hog faced ho, she could not run very well or far because her body is mostly made up of jelly. Her new breasts, arguably the crappest fake tits in the world, even came out of a pair of 1970's jelly moulds.

The fact that Goody did not understand how long a mile is, and "at most... could run half an hour on a treadmill" is probably just coincidental to the overall lack of achievement by the brainless chudhead.