Elephant Refuses To Exercise

Maggie, one of the world's fattest elephants in captivity, has refused to take part in weight loss programmes to shift that extra tonnage. The centre of this new regime has been a $100,000 treadmill, which in real money is about £65,000 or a two bedroom flat in Hull.

The bastards at the zoo where Maggie lives decided this torture would be better for her than relocation to another place with other elephants in a warmer climate. "Wankers," Maggie told mooky.net. "The lot of them... if they think I'm going to play their silly games, they can think again."

So far Maggie has point blank refused to use the treadmill. Although she enjoys toying with the zoo staff. Occasionally she'll make out like she's about to go up on it, watch the keepers get excited and then climb off again. More often than not Maggie will follow up this tactic by dropping a massive pile of stinking chud that one of the "fuckers has to clean up."

"They're so easy to wind up..." Maggie chuckled as she gorged herself on watermelon, apples, carrots, peanuts in the shell, banana slices, sweet potatoes and pizza.