Drunk Student Out Of His Tree

A student at Gloucestershire College of Arts and Technology was rescued from a tree by firefighters yesterday. The student who got shitfaced on cheap booze somehow managed to climb 100 ft up before falling asleep on a branch.

When he woke in the morning he was greeted with more than the usual regret about what he'd done the night before. Luckily he had his mobile phone with him and called the fire brigade. The firemen spent a good hour or so pointing, taking pictures and laughing before finally helping the student down using a high tech system of weights and pulleys.

"He was a bit quiet when he came down and a bit embarrassed," Nigel Limbrick of the Gloucestershire FD said. "I think he got a bit cold up there. He only had his jeans and T-shirt on and he must have had quite a hangover."

Paramedics treated the daft twat for scratches, but not much else. They decided not to tell the dazed lad that his limp penis was poking out like a shy prawn from his jeans, concluding that the student had tried to have a wank before passing out.