Can't We All Just Be Friends?

Shahbaz has gone on a damage limitation exercise this afternoon, desperately trying to win back some popularity in the house. He has been detested almost from the start, but now seems keen to make up for his cunt behaviour. He started by coming onto whistling Pete in the bathroom. Pete, who is famous for his bird calls, was asked by Shahbaz "Are you annoyed with me?"

"Not really, I don't give a fuck, wanker," replied Pete nonchalantly. Shahbaz was obviously relieved. "You're the only one I care about," the scot told Pete as he started touching him in an inappropriate way. "They think you're a leech," Pete told Shahbaz as he became visibly aroused. "I think you just need some love, man." The two then got off for ages with loads of tongue.
"I'll show you how like a leech I am later," Shahbaz winked at Pete. "I'll suck you dry." Pete nodded, whistled and cursed before projecting vomit agains the toilet bowl.

Encouraged by his moment with Pete, Shahbaz went looking for Dawn. The angry body builder was less than forgiving as she told him: "Verbally I could destroy you, your puns are just shit," she told him. "You're a parody of John Inman and Mrs Doubtfire. You're a rubbish comedian because you've got no sense of humour." She then did a bit of weight lifting and scratched her crotch. In recent days her clitoris has become so pronounced some people are wondering if Dawn is growing a cock. Shahbaz seemed hurt, but also happy that someone was talking to him even if it was all abuse. "We're the oldest people in here and no one's going to look after you, you have to look after yourself," Dawn said to him as she started lifting him up and down to exercise her pectoral muscles. The other Housemates still hate him and think he's a cunt.