Bloke Lobs Cock At Pigs

Jakub Fik, the cock who threw his penis at cops, is said to be recovering nicely after the whole sorry incident last month. Fik who went on some mentalist rampage on the northwest side of Chicago cut his own penis off and threw it at his pig pursuers when they cornered him.
He had already chucked knives at the filth, but when this proved ineffective he decided the only course of action left was to throw his own dismembered member at the boys in blue.

In the confusion that followed it was hard to determine if any of the officers had caught Fik's knob before it hit the ground. Rumours that one pig waggled it in the air, tried to wipe it on his colleagues' faces and pretended it was a truncheon have proved unfounded. After their initial disgust passed the pigs took down Fik, 33, with a taser. The sergeant on the scene seemed surprised that no harm had come to Fik as a result of police brutality.

"We took him out without any serious injury," the sergeant remarked, brainlessly grinning, at the time. Mooky.net was relieved to hear this as cutting your own penis off is obviously one of those injuries that can swiftly be dealt with by applying a dab of tcp and a bandaid - like decapitation. Clearly Jakub isn't the only Fik one in Chicago.