Birth Defect Should Make Cartwheels Easy

A baby has just been born in Shanghai with what doctors are calling ‘an unusually well-formed third arm’. Sadly for ‘Jie-jie’ a ‘third arm’ is not a euphemism for: enormous ‘baby’s arm’ sized penis (this doctor confounding tot actually has three arms). Dr Chen Bochang told the local media, “His case is quite peculiar. We have no record of any child with such a complete third arm… It’s quite difficult to decide how to do the operation on him.”

Jie-jie, who’ll be able to masturbate secretly when he’s older, will almost certainly have to have one of his well formed limbs lopped off – hopefully one of the extra arms. He’s in the right place; the hospital he’s staying at is infamous for separating several conjoined twins. It's a shame though, he'll miss out on being able to wipe his bum, take a piss and brush his teeth at the same time.