Big Chudder: Hours Away

The show that keeps Davina McCall out of the dole office and off the streets is back: launching tonight at 9pm on Channel 4. It's time to meet the next lot of Big Chudder housemates. And mooky.net thanks God because this nation definitely seemed to be running short on crap celebrities like Chantelle, Kerry Katona, Jade Goody along with several million others. Fortunately this 7th series of the Muppet Show, as we affectionately call it, will keep the cultural void of our decrepit nation adequately topped up.

No doubt we will be greeted by a series of over-sensitive, egocentric freaks who are so desperate for fame they would sleep with their grannies to get it. We can expect a large proportion of gay men and women, possibly a few transsexuals... but all complete cunts... and all will no doubt turn out to have had fame pass them by earlier in their lives... pictures of them naked will slowly appear and we will hear in graphic detail how each of them performs in bed... maybe they fucked some loser like Jeff The Twat Brazier... we'll hear about the true heartbreak they've suffered in life and all that old bollocks.

But whoever they are, and however quickly they're forgotten once they're evicted, we can't wait to tear the fuckers to shreds. So let the games begin...