Bank Withdrawals: Child's Play

Three kids aged between 13 and 14 have been arrested for robbing a ‘string of banks’ in Vancouver, North-North America. No weapons were used in the heists and none of the rascals had any previous criminal records. Bank customers are said to be ‘upset’ that their cash can be robbed quite so easily by a handful of unarmed children.

Celine Adams, who was present at a couple of the robberies, said she was ‘impressed’ by the young criminals’ coercion technique. “When the tiller refused to hand over any cash, one of the little chaps told him: ‘my dad’s bigger than yours and he’s got a knife. If you’re not careful he’ll beat you up!’ After that it everyone collectively shat themselves and did exactly as they were told. I think they’re great, I’m gonna tour with them next year – if they haven’t been gunned down by then that is! he he.”

The Mountie, who eventually arrested the kids, shook his head and wistfully commented: “They’re off to a heck of a start”. He then leapt onto his horse and rode deep into the sunset whistling the theme tune from Requiem For A Dream.