$20 Wonder Boy Spunks All Over Radcliffe

Ever wondered how much it costs to buy a really fast 4 year old? $20, that’s how much. Budhia Singh from Bhubaneswar was sold by his mother for just 800 rupees at the age of one. Who snapped the little nipper up? Why a judo instructor of course. Three years of tutorage culminated yesterday when the 4 year old ran 65km (40 miles) in 7 hours and 2 mins, a feat that will be recognised in the Limca Book of Records on Thursday. Biranchi ‘Judo’ Das discovered that the boy was a fantastic runner from an early age - probably when chasing him round the room trying to trip him up.

Kill-joy child welfare committees have since suggested that sending a 4 year old boy (who’s only just got to grips with unaided shitting) on marathon runs for fame and monetary gain, might be a little ‘pushy’. Spitting his dummy out nonchalantly, Budhia said: “During my [daily] ten-hour practice, I don’t feel the pain; I enjoy it”.