Turkey Chudders

Remember when you used to get served this chud by your mum after school? Led to believe it was some gourmet feast. The reproduced leftovers from the abbatoirs wrapped in a sickly orange coat of breadcrumbs was such a hit because it meant your mum could continue her life as a closet alcoholic while paying lip service to her maternal duties. Bloody chudder. Meanwhile the old man was taking the secretary out for a bit of chud shuffling, drenching himself in Brut on the way home so he would n't stink of the ho's gash when he walked through the door 'after working late'. What they should have been doing was investing in property to give to me when I hit 18 and cooking proper meals. Or at least getting in takeaways rather than trying to pass off this muck as fun food. And chud knows what they were thinking with that watery, multi-coloured carrot, swede, pea, bean mess that looked like it had been sicked up by an Ethiopian onto the side of the plate. Selfish twats.