Ho Pipe Ban Not A Good Idea

Whores, everyone loves them. Everyone that is, except the government. Oh sure, they're quite happy to cuddle and bum their under-staff. Hell they'll even shuffle into 'sucky sucky' saunas when it pleases them, but when it comes to us...

A big old ban on ho's, that's what. You can't just ban Ho's, they're all over prime time. Programmes such as: 'Gash In The Attic' ruthlessly plunder the ho reserves of Mr 2.4 children. Rooting through his upper loft space in search of the all elusive, pristine ho... surely it's ho-time that we looked for new ways to provide fresh, clean ho's for our nation's ho lovers.

HO-FEVER

Reports have shown that even children as young as 5 and 6 are developing serious ho-fever allergies that are actually resistant to nasal sprays. Anti-hostamene tablets may have worked in the past as effective 'ho-fever blockers' but according to analysts, it's been a different story this spring. An influx of ho's coming in from wherever has sent ho-punters into a frenzy. Does the government really expect little Timmy just to hand over his ho's just because there aren't enough to ho around? Ho, of course not. It's ho time to give the heave-ho to these gun-ho Westminster ho's.