Dogg Shits On Pigs

Snoop Doggy Dog Dog, notorious bad boy of rap, was released from the nick today after he took on six coppers at Heathrow airport and kicked their bee-hinds. According to airport sources Dog Dog was so pissed that he couldn't get into the VIP section while waiting for a flight, so he sent some of his homies to break stuff in duty free. At least two bottles of Bell's Whiskey and a giant bar of toblerone were smashed in the incident.

When the six pigs arrived to take Snoop down he gave them all bitch slaps. So another twenty riot coppers were dispatched with guns. One officer, clearly shaken up by taking on the Dogg with only a high calibre machine gun to protect himself, said "At one point I thought I might have to put a cap in his ass." But this reporter felt the pig was full of false bravado.

Snoop's bail means he has to return to the pig shop in a few weeks. Although our overweight, over-glorified airport security rent-a-cops were no match for Mr Bow Wow, the whole sorry story could have been avoided if only someone had thought to call in the SAS or at the least Phil and Grant.