Clarke Solves Prison Overcrowding

Charles Clarke, Homo Secretary, has singlehandedly solved Britain's major problem with overcrowding in prisons. In a stroke of pure genius the potato headed fatty let more than a thousand crims out onto the streets. While some typically cynical critics may say the move is just another short term solution to a long term problem, there are signs that Clarke might see this daring policy through to the end: letting out every single lag in the country whatever their crime or however much of a threat they might present to the public.

As sources near Clarke state "the true brilliance of the scheme is that there's so much room for all the people we're going to nick now for the really serious crimes... like littering or not paying council tax." Elderly members of society are the likely targets of this crackdown, "literally asking for it."

A number of political commentators were unsure if Clarke was still actually alive until this dramatic decision proved them all wrong. Sitting there like a big orangutan on a Bank Holiday outing to the zoo, Clarke has shown that he is very much alive and eating.