Bird Flu Worse Than Bloke Flu

Yes, yes blokes do like a moan. Birds are always quick to laugh and point as soon as half a bogey slithers down one of our hairy snozzers. They beg us to tell them how tewibble wit wis...

What birds neglect to mention is that once the GP's been violently roused from his slumber and given us the all clear, that's it. Finito. We get on with it. There's no three days of menstruation, no talk of 'emotional needs', just a big diarrhearry shit and a consolodatory wank.

Bird Flu is a different story. Not only was it 'world news' when birds in the far east started causing a flap, it fucking spread! That's right, the whingey chick sick has flown all the way over to Norfolk like some massive plague of 'woman's intuition'. We're all aware that Norfolk probably doesn't exist, but surely government proposals to 'cull' their local bird population are nothing short of bloody and barbaric. Yes, they should be punished for for causing such a shit storm in a vag cup, but is the systematic execution of 35,000 Norfolk birds really necessary? Do they really need to be burned?